30 for 40: #1

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Hausu.

I turn 40 this year. So does Hausu. Both amaze and terrify me.

Some of my emotions on turning 40 are most assuredly wrapped up in the fact that my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer at 47. Just before he turned 50, he died.

And then there are all the other reasons people like me get a little animated at the prospect of a suddenly staring down our fifth decade as a breathing, living, and loving human being. Reasons mostly being clinical anxiety. I mean, I had the ridiculous thought flash in my mind this morning: “Taylor swift is 27, the same age Kurt Cobain was when he stopped being…. And that was just a handful of years ago, right? Holy shit, we’re all going to die.”

Just like Rob Penty, I remember doing the math with friends at lunch in elementary school, and being astonished that I’d be 23—TWENTY-THREE!—in 2000.

And here we are, some 17 years after turning TWENTY-THREE!, so why not try a thing to usher in my next spin around the sun? My aim is to write a post a day for the next 30 days leading up to my birthday, give or take (and you are damn right this counts as #1—might as well fake a head start).

**UPDATE: The ambition of my initial goal was…super ambitious. So I’ve updated the series to be “30 for 40” because “before” just isn’t happening.

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